I phoned up the BBC to inquire about producing my show, Whale Street. Here's the conversation I had:

ME: - (Posh Voice) Hello I would like to inquire about the possibility of having my idea for a show produced.

Receptionist: - Well you need to speak to someone in productions or you can write in and send your idea to.

Me: - I would like to speak to the big boss please.

Receptionist: - I can put you through to someone in production, but no one any higher.

Me: - In I mean the bloke out of the Bruce lee movie "The big Boss".

Receptionist: - What?

Me: - Only just a little joke! No put me through to someone then, PLEASE!

BBC Man: - Hello.

Me: - Hello I like to inquire about you putting on my series Whale Street. It involves a shop owner persecuted as his name is Kipling and people think he makes cakes or write books and poems.

BBC Man: - You're messing me about. You can't be serious.

Me: - Good impression of John McEnrone there.

BBC Man: - I haven't got time to waste over idiots like you.

Me: - Oh you let Jeffrey Archer and other idiots, and you produce crap shows like The wild House and A Prince Among Men and Pilgrim's Rest and Eldorado, the list goes on and on and on and on

BBC Man: - Excuse me

Me: - and on and on and on and on

BBC man: - OH SHUT UP!

Me: - Don't tell me to shut up you $%&*()_+@:]<>? > Fascist.

BBC Man: - There's no need for that language.

Me: - Oh, what language do you speak? German or Philistinian.

At this point I hung up on those idiots at the BBC and decided to boycott the BBC well accept when The Simpson's is on or the X Files or Blue Peter or Playdays or Ready, Steady, cook or until Whale Street is on.

Anyway you can contact me at:

No. 13 Thirteenth Street.
Thirteen City
Thirtennland
1UC K13

or e-mail me at: business_man@usa.net

P.S.: - Is there any powerful force spoiling my plans?

The End?

AND TO RESPOND TO NOVEMBERS BUSINESSMANS R:
GENERAL E. GOOD - OUR CHEIF CRITIC

From: General E Good, Earth Force Command


After The Sick businessman (Know to native Americans as he who casts mountains sized shadow) rung the BBC I decided to fight fire with fire, so I rang him.

Me: - Hello, is the sick businessman there?

Phone: - Yes, I'm his mum, err Secretary, I'll find him.

[Series of Thuds]

Phobe: - Hello

Me: - Ah, yes, my name is Castor Pollux and I am a film producer interested in one of your ideas, whale street.

Phone: - Y E S !!! I'll be right around!

Me: - Just a few points, we want to change the names, places and plot.

Phone: - But why?

Me: - Because its bull****

Phone: - What?

Me: - So you thought your idea was good, you pathetic man to think any idea that flies out of you're a"e could be any use to anyone!

After that he had a tantrum, he had to be told the truth; otherwise we face MADNESS without end. I call upon you to join me in fighting his idiocy, all those who act stupidly for no reason, who are unfunny, who act disgustingly and are annoyingly LOUD (Sean Galloway of Moorside) YOUR DAY IS OVER

E-mail me with any support to

Revenge is coming!

---

The Generals Japes

Heard about the Irish man who deid with a smile on his face?

He was struck by litning twice ant thought he was having his photo taken

Insults: There is life after death

---

FastCounter by LinkExchange

[ HOME ]

[ NO FRAMES? ]