STUFF THAT I FIND FUNNY

Okay. I've only just this second thought of the subject for this month's Jayton Report (well, it's probably not THIS second, because in THIS second I'm probably either eating, sleeping or watching teachers teach me stuff I already know - you're just reading this now) so here goes. This report is all about the stuff in our crazy mad-capped world that I find funny.

Firstly, the plastic bags that seem to come free with old women. Once you've gone out and bought yourself an old woman from one of the well known old women outlets i.e. Bon Marche, Kwik Save and Dewsbury Bus Station - you are supplied with a free plastic bag which must (it seems) be kept on their head at all times. The use for this unnessecary piece of equipment is unknown to me, and is a question that has puzzled man since the invention of the old woman. Many a time I have heard people ask themselves "What's it for?", "Why bother?" and "Are the blue dots of varying sizes that are printed on these strange cranial containers there for a reason, or are they just fashionable?". I've also heard people ask if it was invented specifically for the old women, or was the old women produced due to a mass increase of homeless plastic bags with blue dots on? It is at this point that I am reminded of the ancient (yet commonly used) proverb: Which came first - the old women or the plastic bag which goes on the old women's head? Very strange.

Stick men. I find stick men incredibly funny - if not strange and bizzare and almost.... frightening. Have you ever seen a fat stick man? "Yes!" I hear you say (you must be shouting loudly) But if a stick man is fat, surely he is no longer a stick man, he is a round man. Also, how do stick men reproduce? All stick men are of the same sex (hence stick men) and if the same idea that works with humans works with stick men then how does that work?! Admitedly, many stick men are transvestites - these are distinguised by a triangular shape resembling a skirt hanging from their waste. This is always a hard accusation to make too, as how do you distinguish a transvestite stick man from a scottish stick man???

To be continued...





Don't forget to stop back next month for the second part of:
'STUFF THAT I FIND FUNNY'

- James.